It is with a mixture of regret (the feeling I would like to project) and unrestrained joy (my actual feeling) that I would like to announce that I am now charging a $3.00 processing fee for all new subscription requests sent to me by literary magazines.

People don’t want to buy rocking chairs anymore. But the lack of sales doesn’t stop people from making them. As a result, we rocking chair sellers have come up with a solution.