Discussed in this episode: people sitting around tables talking about crap, sand worms, genre fiction, Kyle MacLachlan, the Kwisatz Haderach, Patrick Stewart, pugs.

This week, Janet and Mike get inspired by Harper Lee's new 'Go Kill a Watchbird,' and talk about sequels to classic books they'd like to discover.

This week Mike and Janet talk about six literary villains they liked even though they weren't supposed to.

Not discussed in this episode: That scene in 'Evil Dead 2' when Ash traps his possessed hand under a can and weighs it down with a copy of 'A Farewell to Arms.' Man, that was sweet.

Cut for time from this episode: Mike's impromptu a cappella version of "We R Who We R," which was beautiful but now you'll never get to hear it, thanks a lot, JANET.

Not discussed in this episode: 'Beaches,' the coming zombie apocalypse, the coming mummy apocalypse, the coming Frankenstein apocalypse, the coming Tom Wolfe apocalypse.

Discussed in this episode: 'Far from the Madding Crowd' by Thomas Hardy, 'Far from the Madding Crowd' (dir. Thomas Vinterberg), mozzarella sticks, movie tie-in editions, melodrama, guys who are good in their faces, old drunks, 'The Bachelorette,' Matthias Schoenaerts, and hot damn Michael Sheen is a great actor and seemingly a lady-killer...

Alternate titles for this episode: The One Where They Talk About Friends; The One Where They Realize They Are Now Older Than the Friends; The One Where They Come to the Conclusion That Youth Is Fleeting and Have to Take the Month of May Off to Deal with It.

This week, Janet and Mike discuss political apathy and spooky teenagers.

This week, Janet and Mike realize they’ve been reading nothing but post-apocalyptic novels about dying people in war-torn countries, and it is affecting their mental health.

Animals featured in this episode: Maeby the pug, who did a mostly good job not barking during the filming, and was rewarded with a treat and her favorite tennis ball.

Rejected as a musical accompaniment for this episode: Mike's original jazz composition, "In a Bookish Mood," performed entirely on the kazoo and theremin, two instruments Mike does not know how to play.

This week, Janet and Mike discuss Laura van den Berg’s 'Find Me,' while traversing a hellish post-apocalyptic landscape, Mad Max-style. Will they turn on each other by the end?

Filmed for this episode, but edited out by C. Max Magee: Janet and Mike debut their new comedy novelty band, Millions of Laffs!, with a song performed on kazoo and ukulele about the National Book Critics Circle Awards and pizza.

This week we decided to play Marry, Blog, Kill, the literary party game sweeping the nation.

Not discussed in this episode: Woody Guthrie, Woody Allen, Woody Woodpecker, "Civil War" by Guns N' Roses, Garfield the cat, Mondays, lasagna, Abu Dhabi, Leon Czolgosz, and Stephen Sondheim.

This week, Janet has some issues about Tim Johnston’s 'Descent.' But how will her concerns affect Mike, who, as a man, is the central protagonist of this show?

This week, we beg American publishers to bring more violent nihilism to the literary scene.