Just in case you didn’t know, Mallory Ortberg gives you ways to tell if you’re in a Hemingway novel at The Toast. “Everyone you know respects you. This disgusts you.”
Hemingway Hijinks
Get Your Popcorn Ready. The Criterion Collection Hits Hulu Plus.
Looking for something to watch this weekend? Got Hulu Plus? Well, start working your way through the veritable treasure trove that is the Criterion Collection. And don’t worry. If you’re as overwhelmed by the selection as I am, this top ten list by filmmaker Dean Peterson can serve as a great guide. Also, for what it’s worth, I’m partial to Andrei Tarkovsky’s Andrei Rublev.
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Stevenson as Kurtz
"Since the middle of the 20th century, the academy has conditioned us to stay grounded within texts and steer clear of writers’ biographies for insights while biographers are often timid about the kind of playful speculation that we can undertake here in Slate. Readers, myself included, tend to wonder about the sources for characters the likes of Kurtz, Sherlock Holmes, and Jay Gatsby—larger-than-life, mysterious, existing on a kind of separate plane—and in doing so we are continuing the quests of the narrators who tried first (Marlow, Watson, and Carraway)." Matthew Pearl asks: was Robert Louis Stevenson the blueprint for Conrad's Kurtz?
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The Charleston Bulletin
Sometimes, Virginia Woolf took a break from her busy schedule of constant brilliance in order to write children's stories for her nephews' newspaper, The Charleston Bulletin. A taste: "When in a good and merry mood Trisy would seize a dozen eggs, and a bucket of flour, coerce a cow to milk itself, and then mixing the ingredients toss them 20 times high up over the skyline, and catch them as they fell in dozens and dozens and dozens of pancakes."
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Friends Forever
Attention Babysitters Club fans: at 5:30 EST tonight, Scholastic will be holding a live Twitter party with author Ann M. Martin. Maybe it's finally time to find out if Claudia ever finished middle school, yes / yes?
A Film of Common Prayer
Looks like Joan Didion's 1977 novel A Book of Common Prayer will now be adapted for the screen.
Refusing to be Silenced
The Brooklyn Rail's InTranslation section has launched a new poetry series, 100 Refutations. Created by author and translator Lina M. Ferreira C.-V., the series will feature a daily poem "from one of the countries recently denigrated by the president of the United States." Pair with: The Millions' Surviving Trump column.
“The step up from writing parodies is writing on the wall above the urinal.”
(Ernest Hemingway)
You say something obnoxious. You rile up Mallory. You see her tip her hat rakishly but in a womanly way. Parody bites you in the ass.
Moe Murph
(AKA “The Toast” Fan No. 1)
My personal favorite is No. 13:
“You hate every single one of your friends. You have no friends. You are alone at sea. How you hate the sea, but how you respect the fish inside of it. How you hate the kelp. How indifferent you are to the coral.”
(Its the indifference that nails it)