Just in case you didn’t know, Mallory Ortberg gives you ways to tell if you’re in a Hemingway novel at The Toast. “Everyone you know respects you. This disgusts you.”
Hemingway Hijinks
Van Gogh Was Cheap
Shakespeare was an insult master, as were Churchill, Dorothy Parker, Oscar Wilde and… Cézanne? Apparently so. In The Irish Times, Colm Tóibín reads through the painter’s letters, one of which includes a gripe that “Pissarro is an old fool [and] Monet is a wily bird.” (You could also read Claire Cameron’s Millions review of Tóibín’s latest novel.)
Watch me spit, classic lit
Based on a recent Jay-Z and Kanye West joint, La Shea Delaney and Annabelle Quezada bring you the addictive track “B*tches in Bookstores.” This all despite West being a confirmed, even proud, non-reader.
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Similes Like Bombs
Senior New York Times book critic Dwight Garner talked with Prospect Magazine about his career and the literary landscape. Of the new online critical publications, which ones did the interviewer single out for compliments? Answer: the LARB and The Millions. (Aw.)
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Tuesday New Release Day: Carey, Mieville, Murakami
New today are Peter Carey’s The Chemistry of Tears and China Mieville’s Railsea. And Haruki Murakami’s 1Q84 is now out in a snazzy three-volume boxed-set paperback edition.
Prime Minister, Poet
A rare manuscript dealer has put up for auction a 10 stanza poem written (in crayon!) by Winston Churchill. The poem, entitled “Our Modern Watchwords,” is believed to be the only known poem written by the British prime minister in his adulthood.
The Tiny Gatsby
Here’s a question for a lexicographer: is a book still called a book if it’s too small for a person to read? Moreover, what do you call people who collect miniature books as a hobby?
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“The step up from writing parodies is writing on the wall above the urinal.”
(Ernest Hemingway)
You say something obnoxious. You rile up Mallory. You see her tip her hat rakishly but in a womanly way. Parody bites you in the ass.
Moe Murph
(AKA “The Toast” Fan No. 1)
My personal favorite is No. 13:
“You hate every single one of your friends. You have no friends. You are alone at sea. How you hate the sea, but how you respect the fish inside of it. How you hate the kelp. How indifferent you are to the coral.”
(Its the indifference that nails it)