Hemingway Hijinks

January 30, 2014 | 2

Just in case you didn’t know, Mallory Ortberg gives you ways to tell if you’re in a Hemingway novel at The Toast. “Everyone you know respects you. This disgusts you.”

is an associate editor for The Millions and an editor in Atlanta. She tweets at @temalone.


  1. “The step up from writing parodies is writing on the wall above the urinal.”
    (Ernest Hemingway)

    You say something obnoxious. You rile up Mallory. You see her tip her hat rakishly but in a womanly way. Parody bites you in the ass.

    Moe Murph
    (AKA “The Toast” Fan No. 1)

  2. My personal favorite is No. 13:

    “You hate every single one of your friends. You have no friends. You are alone at sea. How you hate the sea, but how you respect the fish inside of it. How you hate the kelp. How indifferent you are to the coral.”

    (Its the indifference that nails it)

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