is a staff writer for The Millions and an MFA candidate at Johns Hopkins. Prior to coming to Baltimore, he studied literature and worked in IT while living in Dublin, Ireland. You can find him on Twitter at @tdbeckwith.
Brace yourself for disgusting, convoluted metaphors and run-on sentences. The winners of the 2012 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel have been announced.