I had a dream I was locked in a cage earlier this year, a dream that went on for several years inside the sleep itself. In the dream, I was given no food or water, nor did I interact with any person or other sort of entity; the walls of the cage were flat and had no bars and no door for entry or exit. It was clear in the dream that I was sleeping, but that the time inside the cage was real, that the world was going on without me despite the illusion I would be presented with upon my return that no more than a night had passed.
The only thing besides my body in the cage was a book, which had been left there almost incidentally, as if by someone previously installed in the cage before I appeared there. The book was bound with leather that in this world would be called white, but in the dream was actually transparent to the point that seeing through it meant you were seeing through the actual cells of the world of the cell; like the texture of gasoline spread on the ground, but looking through it onto another planet. Though it was a very thin book in my hands, when it was opened it was as thick as a set of encyclopedias. It was written in a language I understood in my sleep but knew even while reading that when I woke not only would I not be able to remember what I’d read, but that I’d read it at all; that is, the text I remembered would be remembered as plates of color instead of words.
So each page of the book was a color, full and flat, and I read it. It expressed emotions I remember not feeling aware of ever before in waking, but that had always been through and through me, and underneath me, in my blood, in the dirt of the earth, in the wires of the computer, in the faces of the people. These emotions held us together as fibers and we didn’t know it and couldn’t read them in anyone else either except in passing moments that felt like pain or terror, and sometimes love, but actually in this book appeared as passages you could read and reread, could even memorize.
I was only able to read a few pages of the book over the several years the dream went on. I was aware of what was happening in my other life the whole time, the people I loved aging without me, changing without me. The book changed with them, too, reacting to me as the colors I had never before witnessed reflected the future of every person every inch, which included every book already created or to be created, as well as every film and painting, and every person. Each page was like death and like dying, where the meaning of that allowed transmission of the fractions of me remaining were transported not into blackness, but into a world between the two kinds of remaining worlds, between sleep and waking, and between aging and a sense of eternal time.
The dream ended like a movie cut off by someone remotely pressing a button on a film you were watching and did not know someone else had control over the experience of. There was a brief period of transition in which I could feel the smoke coming off of me from the transference from the state of the cage, where the book had touched me, and the body I had returned to, as well as the gap between the times of point of entry and return, and what has been changed in my absence, feeling like no change at all.
This is the state I have been reading in since the dream, which subsequently has caused all books I’ve read in that time to feel bound in the same edition, in the way that one pupil might be the same as any other pupil, for its blackness, more than what the blackness has absorbed.
Recently, I have begun reading with my eyes closed.
Image Credit: pixabay.
More from A Year in Reading 2014
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…Nicola Barker's Darkmans. It wasn't released in the US until late November; will everyone finally catch on in 2008?
…Ian McEwan, The Child in Time. It is one of the last McEwans I had remaining, and for some reason I wasn't expecting much. Instead I got an adventurous experimental novel. The McEwan dissenters have a point with Amsterdam and Saturday — surely not here.
Well it's hard to choose. The best two books I read this year, definitely Snow and My Name is Red (idolatry of Pamuk can be found on my blog starting here) — those are probably the best two books I've read in a couple of years.
…Maugham's Razor's Edge, and Coetzee's Disgrace.
The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan
The Indian Clerk by David Leavitt.
Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin and
The Old Patagonian Express by Paul Theroux. Although it wasn't noted on the list of books I've read, I also really enjoyed Garth Hallberg's A Field Guide to the North American Family. All three had great descriptions of spaces that helped me position myself within each book.
Max, good work on the blog this year!
Forgetfulness by Ward Just – one man's sober, restrained, thoughtful response to terrorism.
Tree of Smoke
by Denis Johnson
The Rest is Noise by Alex Ross. A shadow history of the 20th century through music, it is a completely absorbing read and makes one want to listen to every piece of music he describes.
An Equal Music, by Vikram Seth, Sarah Waters's Night Watch, and In the Eye of the Sun by Ahdaf Souief. All smart, original, and absorbing.
At the suggestion of Ms. Millions a long time ago, I finally read Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, it took two seasons but was worth the journey. It is now considered one of my favorites! Thanks Ms. Millions!
MAN GONE DOWN by Michael Thomas, a little like James Baldwin's "Another Country" meets "Good Will Hunting," that rare African American novel of identity which is extremely well-written but not preachy and doesn't browbeat the reader. What I mean is that unlike Baldwin's novel about an interracial relationship in which a bisexual black jazz musician mentally and physically abuses his lover – a white Southern woman who goes insane after which he leaps to his death off the George Washington Bridge – Thomas is not trying to PROVE anything (Baldwin's character were meant to portend America's fate if it continued to prevent people from connecting irrespective of differences). This novel is philosophically more in tune with Ralph Ellison, I would say.
I'll also second Fredericktoo's nomination of TREE OF SMOKE by Denis Johnson, which gets really interesting around the time Skip translates the Antonin Artaud passage with its echoes of semiotics.
The worst book I read all year was I AM LEGEND by Richard Matheson. Wow.
I'm bad at "bests," though, so here are several I enjoyed.
VALDEZ IS COMING, Elmore Leonard
ROCK SPRINGS, Richard Ford
THE YIDDISH POLICEMEN'S UNION, Michael Chabon
ANGELS, Denis Johnson
THE ROAD, Cormac McCarthy
THE DEAD FISH MUSEUM, Charles D'Ambrosio
FAT CITY, Leonard Gardner
THE COAST OF CHICAGO, Stuart Dybek
DROWN, Junot Diaz
a tie! Both very different, both very excellent: "Then We Came to the End" by Joshua Ferris was the wonderful surprise/debut of the year, and "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy is simply a force of language that cannot be ignored.
Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan
Reading THE USED WORLD by Haven Kimmel was the most engrossing and divine experience I've had with a book in a long, long time.
Stoner by John Williams.
Max:
Thank you for a terrific series and for your hard work with The Millions. I enjoy the blog immensely.
My favorites for the year were The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz. Stunning work. And The Perfect Man by Naeem Murr — another riveting novel that sadly seems to have sunk into obscurity.
Hope you and your team have a terrific '08!
Away, by Amy Bloom. It is a female extreme adventure story and the writing is exquisite.
I have enjoyed The Millions all year. Thanks to the "ask a book question" guy for your recommendations on books set in Paris.
Can't decide between Memories of My Melancholy Whores, Forgetfulness, and Everyman
— Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson (1881). I read several new (2007) novels but this one beat them all (and was also new for me).
Of 2007 works, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz is impressive, but given the mix of Spanish and sf/fantasy references (Gary Gygax and Porfirio Rubirosa share pages with cuco and la ciguapa, Shelob, Dr. Zaius, Chakobsa and Dr. Gull), no wonder that, even with Pulitzer talk, very few people are attempting to read it (only 27,000 copies sold, according to a post-Christmas AP wire report at http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hAU6173HEXh_YzLoDnjQRY2yf4TwD8TQNCCO0)
I kept wishing for a genre glossary/Dominican slang dictionary stuck in the back, but a good one would probably double the size of the book and cripple the reading experience for those of us going back and forth.
A word for graphic novels in 2007:
The Courageous Princess by Rod Espinoza (http://www.amazon.com/Courageous-Princess-Rod-Espinosa/dp/159307719X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1198984971&sr=8-1) is one of the better kid-friendly graphic novels to come out in 2007 and in glorious full color,too, unlike The Invention of Hugo Cabret (http://www.amazon.com/Invention-Hugo-Cabret-Brian-Selznick/dp/0439813786/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1198985585&sr=1-1)
whose black and white images suit the silent film theme but never seem to rise above the overwhelming melancholy of the story.
The Arrival by Shaun Tan (http://www.amazon.com/Arrival-Shaun-Tan/dp/0439895294/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1198985415&sr=1-1)is is also black and white but more open-hearted in its depiction of humanity, and the artist/writer sweeps you up in a terrific wordless depiction of the immigrant experience (it is also G-rated but adult in sensibility and visual sophistication).
Lastly, thanks for an amazing year of The Millions, Max, and all the work you put into it; your year-end contributor's lists of "Best Reads" also just keep getting better. Happy 2008!
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie.
Can't pick just one. Actually, I can't even remember them all but a few favorites were, After This by Alice McDermott, The Echo Maker by Richard Powers,and I love/hated The Road by Cormac McCarthy.
Mark Helprin's Winter's Tale was fascinating and multi-layered; I look forward to re-reading many times. Also John Crowley's books. Thanks to The Millions for the references to both of these authors! And although not a "best", I'd recommend Nicholas Christopher's A Trip to the Stars and The Bestiary. Finally, I'd include Verlyn Klinkenborg's Timothy, or Notes of an Abject Reptile. It's a beautifully written, quiet book unlike any other I've seen.
Thanks for promoting the concept of Trusted Fellow Readers!
Two from this year are tied for best: Montano's Malady, by Enrique Vila-Matas; and Extinction, by Thomas Bernhard.
Eat, Pray, Love which had an enormous impact on me.
Funny no one has mentioned Against the Day — what did you all think of it? I was very happy with it — it would be my favorite book of 2007 if I had not found out about Pamuk. Or were you all speedy readers and finished it in 2006?
the Children's Hospital by Chris Adrian. there's nothing else like it.
The Go Giver by Authors Bob Burg and John David Mann was my favorite read of 2007. I received it for Christmas and couldn't put it down!
The Testament of Gideon Mack, by James Robertson, tied with Bedlam by Jennifer Higgie.
I really enjoyed Divisidero by Michael Ondaatje. His diction and sense of atmosphere is beautiful…
I read so many great books this year! One of my favorite was Eat- Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. A funny, poignant, and honest story about how a woman had to go around the world to find out who she really was.